Dating for dummies
By the fourth ring Jeongguk feels 120% more annoyed because (1) Kim Taehyung always answers his calls by the second ring and (2) is the world ending or something Taehyung's voice chirps excitedly and a little breathlessly from the other end, and Jeongguk feels his hackles rising up in an instant. There better be no strange men in his bedroom right now or he is going to have a long talk with Mr. " Jeongguk rolls his eyes because Taehyung says it like Jeongguk hasn't been coming over for dinner at the Kim residence since he was 12. “When have I ever let you watch that stupid show alone? Expect me in 15.” Jeongguk frowns at his phone for a long second after they hang up. Whatever he is, he's not going to be good for Taehyung and it's like Jeongguk's the only one who realizes it. Jeongguk has never been that big of a fan of zombies so he has no problem ignoring the latest episode of TWD in favor of observing Taehyung. Something big and probably important because Taehyung normally doesn’t make a fuss about anything.
Plus, Taehyung's mom had called him about the dinner weeks ago, knowing her only son is a flighty, absentminded little shit. " Jeongguk grits out, pinching the bridge of his nose. He's never even heard of anyone having a crush on Taehyung in the 11 years he's known him and since Taehyung's never really changed much over the years, he'd never really thought anyone could actually like him that way. There have been a few idiots every now and then, but they don’t count. Taehyung, on the other hand, is fairly obsessed with the show and has no problem ignoring everything around him in favor of watching Norman Reedus and a bunch of other sweaty, dirty good-looking people run around and killing off the undead. He is the poster boy for TMI and shameless self-promotion.
Okay, so maybe he is feeling a little bit betrayed that his oldest and longest friend couldn’t even be bothered to send a text saying, “Hey Guk, I have a boyfriend, just thought you should know xoxo.” God, this is so annoying. There's an off chance Taehyung might run into that “boyfriend” of his and Jeongguk's not going to instigate that. He knew he’d raise a fuss about it someday, even if it came six years too late. Jeongguk can feel his own toes curling and his face heating up just hearing the words. This asshole actually asked him, him of all people, —okay. Maybe his phone really is just acting up, god knows he’s dropped it enough that it shouldn’t be still alive and functioning at this point. I’ll be gentle with it,” he tries, all the way in Taehyung’s personal bubble now, using his ultimate weapon against him. ” “Dammit.” Jeongguk groans when he sees Taehyung took his phone with him.
Jeongguk is weirdly frustrated about his current situation that he does the only he can do when he's stuck: he calls Taehyung. " Jeongguk demands, eyes narrowing at the mental image of Taehyung doing god-knows-what. Taehyung replies cheerfully, like that's not the most disgusting combination of food items Jeongguk's ever heard and like he's not at all bothered by Jeongguk's internal struggles. Instead he goes for the much more subtle, "is there something you need to tell me, Tae? ” he replies irritably, eliciting a chuckle from Taehyung. Jeongguk just has to pull a few strings and they can all put this incredibly unnecessary boyfriend thing behind them. “You still haven’t denied the fact that you’re hiding something from me. “I’m really not hiding anything, Guk-ah,” Taehyung insists, shifting back so he’s against the headboard and Jeongguk has to grasp the wood to keep from toppling all over him. Taehyung can never resist anyone who asks earnestly and says ‘please.’ “I—“ He looks torn for a moment and just when Jeongguk thinks he’s giving in, he—runs away. He still refuses to believe that Taehyung is dating someone (behind his back) but Jeongguk knows he’s hiding something from him.
Taehyung doesn’t give it back like he expected him to, just keeps half-hiding it behind him. I can help you download it on your phone,” he offers. @youngbaefan88 those pictures prove nothing @iamthebest01 denial isn’t just a river in the amazon guk kekeke~ @youngbaefan88 that’s not even the right country, it’s supposed to be Egypt dumbass @iamthebest01 SAME DIFFERENCE Lord Namjoon @rapgod94 @youngbaefan88 @kingyoongi @iamthebest01 @hobistyle @pinklover92 Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much jiminie Jeon Jeongguk @iamthebest01 @rapgod94 @youngbaefan88 @kingyoongi @hobistyle @pinklover92 Stop pretending to be posh, you’re from ilsan Jeon Jeongguk @[email protected] @youngbaefan88 @kingyoongi @hobistyle @pinklover92 TAEHYUNG HIMSELF SAID HE DOESN’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
DROP IT Jiminie @[email protected] @rapgod94 @kingyoongi @hobistyle @pinklover92 Did he actually say he didn’t go out on a date with anyone…?
He's momentarily distracted into clicking "11 New Tweets" at the top of the page, revealing various posts by his “friends.” Jiminie @[email protected] @kingyoongi @rapgod94 @hobistyle @pinklover92 THERE WAS ADORABLE HAND-HOLDING INVOLVED, I'VE GOT PICTURES Kim Seokjin @[email protected] @kingyoongi @rapgod94 @hobistyle @youngbaefan88 the fuck?? Which means everyone's waiting for him to react like a bumbling idiot to this stupid, unfounded piece of news - like exactly what he was about to do five seconds ago.
Jeongguk pulls back his now-sticky hands faster than he's ever moved in his life. Everyone's expecting him to react like a jilted lover when he's not. Proms aren’t that much fun anyway.” “How do you even know that? “And don’t lie, you love parties.” “I love you more.” Taehyung shrugs.
This isn't going to end well for anyone and it's his civil responsibility to put a stop to this idiocy immediately. ALSO, DETAILS PLS He's about to reply to Jimin's post with a gloriously-worded piece of his mind when he realizes something. And while Jeongguk's never been able to call himself an expert in social media sites (anything with word "social" in it really), he does know he's meant to see this.
He’s always been mildly aware that Taehyung does indeed have a life outside of catering to Jeongguk’s every whim but this is the first time he’s actually been slapped in the face by this fact. Friends should tell each other when they (plan to stab them in the back) start dating. Your grades aren’t high enough for you to get away with that.” Taehyung shrugs, apparently unconcerned that his future is at stake here. Because even with Jeongguk’s Spartan tutoring his grades in algebra last year were appalling and definitely hurt his chances of going to a good college. He hates that look—he can never really figure out what he’s thinking when he’s got his poker face on. Jeongguk helps him with everything, especially sports.
Especially dating people who look like they could convince Taehyung to go back to his room for sex and then toss him out on the street once they got off. “It’s okay, Hongbin can help me out.” Jeongguk zeroes in on the unfamiliar name. “A friend who helps me out.” “ the friend who helps you out,” he grumbles. Granted, he’s not getting straight A’s in math subjects either, but he’s passable enough. You’re a bad influence on Tae.” He throws a glare at his cousin when Jimin only scoffs.
Okay, so they're 18 now and Kim Taehyung is sort of, maybe not as fat and ugly anymore ("he's hot as fuck, you lying liar who lies," Jimin's unhelpful voice supplies at the back of his mind) but that doesn't mean he can just go ahead and mess with Jeongguk's life like this.
All of a sudden it's like everything he's ever learned in preschool are turning out to be cleverly-disguised lies spread by capitalists as a profit-boosting marketing strategy for holiday events.
How dare Taehyung get a boyfriend when he claims Jeongguk is his moon and stars and even asked him to go to prom with him just two weeks ago?